Photo: Benita Elizabeth John/Unsplash
Tying the knot is a big decision, and definitely not one you should rush. The plan, of course, is to spend the rest of your lives together. Today, the average length of time couples date before getting married is anywhere between three and five years. During this time, there are some very important things you need to do to get on the same page. If you want a meaningful relationship that will last, take these ten tips to heart.
Discuss Your Future Goals
People change as time progresses, and who you are now may not be your goal in five years. Right now you’re single and carefree, but sometime soon you may want to have kids, go back to or complete college, buy a home and put down roots, etc. Or maybe you don’t want kids and you want to travel the country in an RV home. Whatever you want out of life, your partner needs to be ready to follow the same paths as you. Plans will change but having common goals for five, ten, and more years down the road will give you common grounds to start on.
Travel Together
A good test of how well you work together as a team and how you communicate is to travel. That may mean just traveling a town over or taking trips a few hours or more away. Travel by car, plane, bus, or train. You’ll need to plan together, pack versatile shoes and clothes for the vacation together, make the travel arrangements, decide on the trip agenda, and you may just incur some disagreements along the way. You’ll use your problem-solving skills together and get to make new memories with your loved one!
Photo: Vidar Nordli Mathisen/Unsplash Talk About Finances
Like it or not, finances are a large part of your relationship. You might have plans to gain a better career, plans to switch career paths altogether, or plans to become a stay-at-home parent after your children are born. You’ll need to discuss how each person will contribute to your future life together and how you’ll save for retirement. Will you keep your finances separate or combine them into joint accounts?
Get to Know Each Other’s Families
When you marry someone, you’re not just joining them alone. Their close family members are a part of the package, and it’s best to be on good terms with them. You’ll want to take time to cultivate relationships with their family members. You’re likely going to share holidays and important life milestones with them.
Spend Time With Their Friends
Like with their family members, you’re going to be spending time with their circle of friends as well. It’s true that their friends will form opinions about you, and you want to be a welcome accompaniment to your partner. Make the effort to include their friends in some of your activities. Bonding with the people they have chosen to befriend will help solidify your relationship together.
Go Out Without Them
Sure, you went out on the town plenty of times with your own friends before you were in a relationship. Doing so now is a good way to see how your partner reacts. Will they become overly jealous, throw a fit, or threaten to break up with you? We’re not saying go to the naughtiest club in town, but you should be able to go have dinner and a few drinks with your friends. Your partner should trust you to be true and to come home to them.
Live Together
In olden times, it was considered taboo to live with someone before you were wed. But times have changed and relationship experts recommend living with your significant other for a period before getting married. When you live together, you really get to know everything about someone. You’ll see all their quirks, bad habits, and how they spend their downtime. You might find that you live very well together, or you might discover things about them that drive you crazy. The average couple lives together for three and a half years before tying the knot.
Photo: Becca Tapert/Unsplash Explore Your Life in the Bedroom
This is an important part of marriage. When people become dissatisfied in the bedroom, it is often a large prompt to seek out other relationships. Explore what really makes both of you happy and openly communicate with one another. This is a key aspect to ensure this relationship is the right one for you.
Discuss a Prenuptial
Marriage can be a risky business, especially if one partner is entering the marriage with a considerable advantage in income and assets. A prenuptial agreement ensures that your assets are protected, states your rights and responsibilities within the marriage, and dictates how things will proceed in the event of a divorce or death. You will want to discuss whether you want to get a prenup or not and what some general guidelines might be. The rest can be discussed in detail with a lawyer if you choose to have the prenuptial written.
Pick Out Your Rings
If you’re ready to pop the question, it’s time to buy an engagement ring! You may already know exactly what ring style your significant other would like, or you may be overwhelmed by all the choices available. It’s not uncommon today for couples to pick out their engagement and wedding rings together. After all, both of you plan to wear your rings on your hand for the rest of your life. It’s a big decision, so take your sweetie ring shopping and look online for custom rings where she can design the piece of her dreams.
The goal of a marriage is a lifelong endeavor, and the best way to make that happen is to get to know each other inside and out. Don’t keep secrets, but communicate openly. Arguments will happen, but understanding the other’s point of view and compromising are keys to closing the gap and reconnecting. If you follow the steps above, there’s a good chance you won’t get cold feet at the altar!
