Published: September 5, 2014 Last Updated 2 days ago by FPN SEO
We cannot overemphasize how comical this woman was –a woman who even made fun of her own death. In her two books ‘I Hate Everyone…Starting With Me’ & Diary Of a Mad Diva, the comedy icon talked about her funeral plans.
Read below from her book, I Hate Everyone…Starting With Me;
“When I die (and yes, Melissa, that day will come; and yes, Melissa, everything’s in your name), I want my funeral to be a huge showbiz affair with lights, cameras, action…I want Craft services, I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene! I want it to be Hollywood all the way. I don’t want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents. […] I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag. And I want a wind machine so that even in the casket my hair is blowing just like Beyoncé’s.”
In her most recent book, Diary of a Mad Diva, Rivers gave her daughter, Melissa, some ground rules about her last wishes:
- Make sure the guy who cuts the tombstone is a good speller.
- Don’t break the news to my friends by singing “A-Tisket, A-Tasket, Joan’s Finally in a Casket.
- “Even though we spent winters in Mexico, do not list my next of kin as Poncho the Donkey.
- Please make sure no one knows Melissa’s last words to me were, “Just sign this.
- “To make my cold-as-ice WASP friends cry like the rest of the mourners, Melissa and Cooper should just tell them they’ve “run out of Wonder Bread.”
Rivers is truely a comedy legend of her time.

