Last month, I faced a hair-related decision that was as unexpected as it was traumatic: I made the choice to cut my hair. For many, this might seem trivial, but for someone like me, whose hair has long been an emblem of pride and personal expression, it felt devastating.
After enduring a series of poor hairstylist choices, using the wrong products, and suffering the consequences of tight braiding, my once-thick and vibrant strands had become weak and damaged. The reality struck me hard—if I wanted to restore the health of my hair, starting fresh was the only option.
I didn’t arrive at this decision lightly. Like many of us, I’ve had a lifelong love-hate relationship with my hair. But this recent experience taught me some hard truths about hair care, trust, and the importance of listening to my own instincts when it comes to my tresses.
Here’s what I learned about the mistakes that led to my hair’s breaking point, how I’m rebuilding my routine and the advice I wish someone had shared with me sooner.
How It All Started
I’ve always been experimental with my hair—braids, twists, straightening, curling—you name it. But while I loved trying new styles, I wasn’t always careful about who I trusted with my hair. In retrospect, this was my first mistake.
Over the past year, I noticed my hair had started breaking off in small sections, especially around the edges and ends. At first, I thought it was just normal wear and tear. I switched to a “repair” shampoo and started using a deep conditioner weekly. But the breakage persisted. Then came the tight braids.
In the months leading up to my big chop, I visited a hairstylist who braided my hair so tightly that I could barely sleep for days. My scalp felt like it was on fire, but I told myself it was worth it because the braids looked amazing. I was wrong. When I finally took out the braids, clumps of my hair came out with them. My edges were gone, and my scalp was sore and inflamed.
Adding insult to injury, I had also been using products that weren’t suited to my hair type. Over the months, these products built up on my strands, suffocating them and making the breakage worse.
By the time I saw a professional trichologist, it was clear there was no saving the length I had left. My hair was brittle, uneven, and breaking faster than it was growing. I had to make a choice: keep the damaged length or cut it all off and start fresh. Of course, I chose the latter.
Photo: Freepik I sat in the salon chair, feeling a mix of anxiety and relief. The hairstylist explained that while it was hard to let go of damaged hair, starting fresh would give me the best chance to grow healthy, strong strands.
As she snipped away the last remnants of my length, I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of sadness. My long hair had always been a part of my identity. But as I looked in the mirror at my new short style, I felt something unexpected: freedom.
Lessons Learned From This Experience
Understanding the factors that led to my hair’s demise was a painful but necessary step in my recovery process. Here are some of the crucial mistakes I made along the way:
1. Not Researching Hairstylists
One of my biggest mistakes was trusting hairstylists who didn’t understand my hair type or texture. Hairdressers who aren’t experienced with textured or tightly coiled hair often fail to consider the specific needs of these hair types, leading to damage.
Lesson: Always research your hairstylist. Read reviews, ask questions, and don’t be afraid to walk away if they don’t seem knowledgeable about your hair type.
2. Using the Wrong Products
I had been using shampoo and conditioner loaded with sulfates and silicones, ingredients that can strip moisture and weigh hair down. These products promised shine and strength but only masked the damage.
Lesson: Invest in quality hair products that match your hair’s unique needs. Look for sulfate-free shampoos and conditioners, and don’t underestimate the power of a good leave-in treatment.
3. The Danger of Tight Braiding
Tight braids might look sleek, but they can wreak havoc on your hair and scalp. The tension caused by overly tight braid styles can lead to traction alopecia, a hair loss caused by repeated pulling.
Lesson: Always communicate with your hairstylist about the tension level of your braids. A good hairstylist will prioritize the health of your scalp over aesthetics.
How to Know When Your Hair is Damaged
You can tell your hair is damaged by looking out for these common signs:
- Dryness:
If your hair feels rough or straw-like, it’s a sign that it’s losing moisture. It may look dull and feel brittle like it could snap easily when touched.
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Tangles and Breakage:
Damaged hair gets tangled more often, and when you try to brush it, you might notice a lot of hair falling out. The more you brush, the more likely it is to break off.
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Split Ends:
If the ends of your hair are splitting or look thin and frayed, that’s a clear sign of damage. Healthy hair usually has smooth, even ends.
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Lack of Shine:
When your hair looks dull or lifeless instead of shiny and healthy, it may be because it’s no longer getting the nutrients it needs to glow.
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Frizz:
If your hair seems to have a lot of flyaways or gets frizzy easily, it could be a sign that the protective layer on your hair has been worn away, making it harder to stay smooth.
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Loss of Shape:
Curls or straight styles that used to hold now fall flat or look messy. Damaged hair struggles to maintain its shape because it’s weaker than it should be.
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Feeling Self-Conscious:
You might notice yourself avoiding mirrors or not feeling as confident about your hair. If it’s been harder to get your hair to look the way you want, it could be because it’s not in its best condition.
Photo: Getty Images If you’re noticing any of these signs, your hair is likely damaged and could use some extra love, like moisture treatments or a break from heat styling.
Possible Causes of Damaged Hair
Hair damage can happen for several reasons, often due to a combination of factors. Here are some possible causes:
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Heat Styling:
Frequent use of hair dryers, flat irons, and curling irons can strip your hair of moisture, making it dry, brittle, and prone to breakage.
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Chemical Treatments:
Dyeing, bleaching, perming, or relaxing your hair exposes it to harsh chemicals that can weaken the strands, causing them to break and lose their natural shine.
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Over-Washing:
Washing your hair too often, especially with harsh shampoos, can strip it of its natural oils, leaving it dry and more vulnerable to damage.
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Lack of Moisture:
Dry hair lacks the hydration it needs to stay soft and healthy. Factors like cold weather, hot water, and using drying hair products can leave hair feeling parched.
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Sun Exposure:
Just like skin, your hair can get damaged by too much sun. UV rays can weaken hair fibers, leading to dryness, fading color, and split ends.
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Tight Hairstyles:
Wearing tight ponytails, braids, or buns can put stress on your hair, leading to breakage and hair loss, especially around the hairline.
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Rough Handling:
Aggressive brushing or combing, especially when wet, can cause hair to snap. Using harsh towels to dry your hair can also cause friction, which leads to breakage.
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Poor Diet:
A lack of proper nutrition can affect the health of your hair. Deficiencies in vitamins and minerals like biotin, iron, and zinc can lead to weaker strands that are more prone to damage.
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Environmental Factors:
Pollution, wind, and salty or chlorinated water can weaken your hair over time, causing it to lose moisture and become more fragile.
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Health Issues:
Certain medical conditions or hormonal imbalances, such as thyroid problems or stress, can affect hair health and contribute to hair damage or thinning.
Being mindful of these causes can help you take steps to protect your hair and prevent further damage.
Tips for Healthy Hair Growth
If you’re struggling with breakage or slow growth, here are some tips I can recommend:
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Trim Regularly
Skipping trims can lead to split ends traveling up the hair shaft, causing more breakage. Even if you’re trying to grow your hair, a trim every 8-12 weeks can help maintain its health.
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Be Gentle
Use a wide-tooth comb or your fingers to detangle, and always work from the ends up to minimize breakage.
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Sleep on Silk
Cotton pillowcases can cause friction, leading to tangles and breakage. Switching to a silk or satin pillowcase has made a noticeable difference for me.
- Stay Hydrated
Both your body and your hair need water to thrive. Drinking plenty of water and using hydrating hair products will keep your strands healthy.
Cutting my hair was one of the hardest decisions I’ve made, but it was also one of the best. In the weeks since my big chop, my hair has never felt healthier, and my confidence has grown alongside it.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned through this experience, it’s that hair is more than just a physical attribute. It’s a reflection of how we care for ourselves and the trust we place in those who handle it.
So, to anyone out there holding onto damaged hair out of fear or attachment, know this: Sometimes, starting over is the best thing you can do. Your hair will thank you for it.
Photo: Getty Images
