How Long is Too Long to Get Married After a Proposal?

It always begins with that heart-stopping moment — the ring, the gasp, the thrill that this is your person.

You call your closest friends, your mom is already planning outfits in her head, and your WhatsApp display photo changes before the ring even settles on your finger. The world feels softer, like everything finally makes sense, until someone asks, “So, when are you two getting married?”

Suddenly, the romance of the proposal meets the reality of expectation. In African families, especially Nigerian ones, the aunties and uncles start offering unsolicited timelines, and even church members begin to drop hints about “not letting the devil delay your plans.” It’s a gentle reminder that the joy of saying “yes” often comes with the countdown to the wedding day already ticking in the background.

Between the proposal and the altar lies an unfamiliar, beautiful in-between; a season filled with planning, pressure, and possibilities. 

Some couples want to enjoy this marriage engagement bubble, soaking in the excitement before making major commitments. Others feel the unspoken rule to move quickly, to wed after a proposal as though love has an expiration date. And somewhere in between is that internal question: Are we taking too long?

The truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. 

Every couple’s engagement timeline unfolds differently, shaped by finances, family, and sometimes, just fate. What feels “too long” for one might be “just right” for another. It’s not about the number of months on a calendar but the readiness that settles in your hearts.

Let’s explore what truly defines the ideal time to get married after a proposal, and how to balance love, life, and cultural expectations without losing the joy that sparked it all. Because, at the end of the day, it’s not about how long you wait, but how well you prepare for the forever that follows “I do.”

The Short Engagement (The Sprint)

Some couples don’t waste time getting married after a proposal. These couples already know what they want and see no need for a long countdown.

For the love birds, the engagement is less of a waiting room and more of a starting line. 

The proposal happens, excitement takes over, and wedding planning begins almost immediately. Every phone call, every late-night Instagram scroll, every vendor meeting feels like part of the celebration itself.

The beauty of a short engagement period before marriage is the energy it carries. That spark from the proposal doesn’t fade; it fuels the entire process. The momentum keeps everyone focused, decisions are made faster, and there’s less room for overthinking or changing plans halfway through. Couples who move quickly often say it’s easier to ride the wave of excitement than to pause and restart it months later.

 

On a practical level, shorter timelines naturally keep costs in check. With limited time to over-plan, you’re forced to prioritise what truly matters; no endless add-ons, no budget creep, just clarity and action. This kind of speed is often refreshing because it provides a focus. 

The sweet spot for this “sprint” approach often falls between six to nine months, giving just enough room to plan thoughtfully without losing the rhythm that began with “yes.”

The Long Engagement (The Marathon)

On the other hand, some couples choose to take their time before they get married after a proposal, seeing the engagement not as a race but as a season of preparation. For these couples, love isn’t in a hurry; it’s intentional. 

These lovers want to enter marriage ready, not rushed. Their story usually includes real-life priorities: finishing a degree, relocating, saving for a new home, or simply catching their breath after years of dating.

This type of marriage engagement timeline allows for deeper planning, not only for the wedding, but for life afterwards. With more time, couples can save gradually, book their dream vendors without competition, and make thoughtful decisions without financial pressure. A longer engagement timeline often prioritises peace of mind over speed, and balance over the buzz.

In many Nigerian settings, long engagements are also practical for families, allowing enough time for introductions and cultural rites that can’t be rushed. The “marathon” sweet spot usually stretches beyond twelve months, offering space to align dreams with reality, and to prepare emotionally and financially for the next chapter.

Defining “Too Long” to Marry After a Proposal

So, how long is too long to get married after a proposal? 

The answer isn’t found in months or years but in how the season feels. For some couples, even six months can feel endless; for others, two years still feels just right. But the signs that an engagement might be dragging are usually easy to spot, both from the outside and within.

The External Signs

In Nigeria, for example, people rarely keep quiet about a wedding delay. When aunties stop asking “When is the date?” and start asking “Are you sure everything is fine?” that’s often the first signal. 

Friends begin to move on to other people’s weddings, and your engagement ring becomes less of a fresh excitement and more of a silent reminder that something’s on hold. The social pressure can feel heavy, but sometimes, it’s just the world’s way of reflecting your own hesitation back at you.

The Internal Signs

The real measure of taking too long to wed after a proposal comes from within. If the idea of wedding planning brings more dread than joy, or if you’ve pushed decisions aside so long that even commitment starts to feel like a chore, it might be time to reassess. 

Engagements are meant to be a bridge, not a waiting room. When the spark that started with “yes” fades into fatigue, the timeline might need a reset.

The Solution

The marriage engagement timeline should serve the couple, not the other way around. If your current pace, short or long, no longer feels right, it’s perfectly fine to pause and realign. 

Set a date that reflects both your readiness and your reality, not anyone else’s expectations. The goal isn’t to hurry to the altar; it’s to arrive there certain, calm, and happy. Because no matter how long you wait to get married after a proposal, what truly matters is that you’re both walking into marriage with peace in your hearts.

How To Know You’re Ready To Set The Date

Before you rush to wed after a proposal, pause and ask the right questions. Have you both discussed your long-term goals? Is the engagement timeline allowing you to prepare financially and emotionally? Do you feel excited, not pressured, about the idea of marriage?

If your answers lean toward clarity and peace, then it’s time to pick a date. But if the thought still feels heavy or uncertain, give yourself time.

Marriage engagements aren’t races; they’re rehearsals for a lifetime of decisions you’ll make together. The right time to marry isn’t when everyone expects it, but when you both know it feels right.

The Perfect Pace Is Yours

There’s no universal clock ticking on love. Some couples are ready to get married after a proposal in a heartbeat; others need time to grow into the life they’re building. What matters isn’t how fast you move, but how sure you feel with every step.

Whether your engagement timeline is a sprint or a marathon, let it reflect your story and your peace of mind. 

Photo: Instagram/@jjpstudios