I Hate Nigerian Weddings But I Still Attend Them

 

Nigerian weddings are known for being extravagant, lively, and full of vibrant colors and traditions. They are often a mix of cultural and religious practices, creating a unique and unforgettable experience. However, despite the grandeur and excitement, there are many reasons why some individuals may find themselves saying, “I hate Nigerian weddings.”

I’ve got to admit; Nigerian weddings and I share a complicated relationship, you know, like one of those love-hate things you can’t quite escape. It’s like being in a relationship that’s a bit off-kilter – you can’t quite break free, and the reasons for sticking around are a bit hazy.

It’s not as intense as a full-blown toxic relationship, but it’s undeniably a puzzle. Maybe what gets me really is the Nigerian vibe, the family tradition of throwing these big shindigs for every wedding, or perhaps it’s just the wholehearted celebration of milestones, even if it means causing a bit of chaos in terms of time and money.

Now, if you ask me what bugs me about weddings, I’d say it’s pretty much the whole package. Not that I’m against people getting married – heck, I will definitely walk down the aisle one day, and then everyone will start digging for the details.

It’s just that the whole ceremony thing feels like hitting pause on life to throw a big party for two people who are about to start their own adventure.

In all fairness, Nigerian weddings have this sweet side to them – the grand setups, the rich traditions, the “let’s-party-no-matter-what” vibe – it’s all there. But for someone like me, getting into these fancy events comes with a mix of discomfort and frustration. I can’t help but wonder what it’s like for the couple at the center of it all.

So, I’ve taken a little journey to figure out why I feel this way about Nigerian weddings. And you know what? I’ve decided to focus on the stuff that makes me smile during these celebrations.

I’m laying it all out here – the annoyances and the things that genuinely make me appreciate these cultural milestones. It’s a bit of a rollercoaster, but hey, that’s the thing about love-hate relationships, right?

First, there’s this thing about time consumption

It’s a common thing in Nigeria for couples to have three weddings: a court wedding, a traditional wedding, and a white wedding. This can be tough, especially for working couples, as it seriously affects their ability to get work done due to exhaustion.

Sometimes, they insist on doing all three at once, which I find a bit too dramatic. Why not space them out? Also, it’s not just about the couple – guests with busy schedules also struggle to find time for the long ceremonies of these weddings.

There’s also an unspoken pressure to Spray Money

At Nigerian weddings, there’s this thing called “spraying money.” People basically throw cash at the bride and groom to celebrate their union at the wedding reception. Most guests, especially the groom’s friends, love doing it. It’s like a “join them if you can’t beat them” situation, and I find it a bit intimidating.

If you don’t have a lot of money to join in, you might feel like you don’t belong. Imagine just coming to celebrate your friend, but you can’t throw money – they might think you’re too broke to be there. Sometimes, it’s just in my feelings, but these folks make you feel pressured with their flashy money-throwing, and they don’t even realize it.

And, the challenges for people who are minimalists

Hmm, if you like to keep things simple, it’s probably better to stay home if you’ve been invited to a Nigerian wedding. They not only make you feel a bit uncomfortable with all the money spraying but also with their fancy fashion show.

Guests go all out with glam makeup, flashy dresses, super high shoes, and even those unexpected gele headwraps that seem to touch the sky. Some time ago, I attended a Nigerian wedding wearing flat sandals, and let me tell you, it felt totally out of place.

Nigerian weddings are known for being super fancy and extravagant, which doesn’t really match the simple, minimalist life that I prefer. The big decorations, fancy clothes, and the whole grand scale of the event can be a lot for someone who likes things to be more low-key.

Then, an exclusivity thing among friends of the couple

This is undeniable, even though I haven’t been to a wedding where I didn’t know the bride or groom. But I’ve heard people say that if you go to a wedding because someone else invited you, you might not get to eat there because people might not recognize you.

Going to a wedding where you don’t know the couple or the special guests well can make you feel left out. Nigerian weddings come with big guest lists, which can sometimes make it difficult to feel like you belong if you’re not part of the close group.

So if people are still attending weddings without invitations, I rather stay if I don’t know any of the couple or the couple’s family. 

And finally, not forgetting the financial contributions and aso-ebi expectations

To partake in the Aso-Ebi tradition and contribute financially to a Nigerian wedding, you typically need to share a close connection with the couple or be a part of their inner circle of friends.

This adds an element of exclusivity, granting special treatment to those intimately connected with the couple on the wedding day. Personally, I’ve been on many Aso-Ebi teams and chipped in money for friends’ weddings. It feels a bit strange because it’s like investing in the hope that others will do the same for you someday.

I don’t really like it, but I still do it, and honestly, I hope it happens for me too. It’s a bit crazy, right? So, if you’re up for it, you can always join in the fun of a Nigerian wedding by participating in these things.

Despite the twinge of nervousness that accompanies my interest and preparations to attend a Nigerian wedding party, I genuinely appreciate the couple’s intentional efforts to create the experiences they desire, often with the assistance of friends, family, or wedding planners.

Another thing that always gets me excited, irrespective of other considerations, is the delightful spread of food at a typical Nigerian wedding. This is precisely why I make it a point to establish a personal connection with the bride, groom, or any family member involved in coordinating the culinary aspects of the day.

In fact, I’m more than willing to throw my hat in the ring and volunteer for the friends’ committee to assist in organizing the food arrangements. It might sound a bit quirky, but anything for the love of the kitchen department.

The prospect of indulging in the sumptuous array of dishes, sipping on drinks, and reveling in the infectious beats of Nigerian music is enough to count on me to be present at Nigerian weddings.

Photo Credit: Instagram / klalaphotography