What If I Am Not a Fashion Girl?

There’s a quiet kind of pressure that follows many women around, and it often phrases like “You’re such a fashion girl.” 

It’s supposed to be a compliment, something aspirational. But what happens when you don’t relate? What if you’re not the woman with a saved Pinterest board for every season, who instinctively knows how to layer gold chains over a blazer or tie a scarf stylishly?

What if you’re the girl who forgets Fashion Week exists until it’s trending on Twitter? The one who shows up in comfort-first clothes, not because you’re making a statement, but because your brain’s wired to prioritize practicality over aesthetics. 

What if, no matter how many reels you watch or newsletters you subscribe to, you still can’t make biker shorts and an oversized tee look intentional? Does that mean you’ve failed the “fashion girl” test?

For years, I quietly asked myself that same question. I admired the women who strutted down sidewalks in kitten heels like they were on a runway. I envied the ones who could mix prints without looking like a walking art experiment gone wrong. And I wondered why I always felt like I was lagging two trends behind, even when I made an effort. I told myself, maybe I’m just not a fashion girl.

But then, I realised: maybe being a fashion girl isn’t about how loudly you dress, but how quietly you carry yourself.

Redefining What It Means to Be a Fashion Girl

Contrary to popular belief, a fashion girl isn’t always the one with the boldest outfit or the trendiest closet. She’s the one who dresses with intention, even if that intention is simply, “This makes me feel like myself today.” 

She’s the woman who wears a linen dress on Saturday because it makes her feel like she’s in a slow-motion movie scene. Or the one who always chooses a plain white shirt but tucks it in just right.

Fashion isn’t about conformity; it’s about expression. And not everyone expresses loudly. Some women express through quiet details, like the curl of a cuffed sleeve, the lived-in sneakers that feel comfortable, the oversized sweater that hugs their body like a second skin. That’s still fashion. That’s still style.

When the Industry Doesn’t Feel Made for You

Let’s be honest: the fashion industry isn’t always inclusive. It often idolizes the eccentric and forgets the everyday. It thrives on reinvention, but can make you feel irrelevant if you’re not constantly evolving. For women who don’t identify as “a traditional fashion girl”, it can feel isolating, almost like you’ve missed an unspoken initiation.

But style isn’t something you have to chase. It can exist quietly, in your routine, in your comfort, in your personality. You don’t have to be the loudest dresser in the room to own your style. You don’t have to wear six-inch heels or a vintage Dolce and Gabbana dress. You don’t even have to like shopping. You just have to wear what lets you show up fully.

Embracing Your Own Style

Instead of asking, “Why am I not a fashion girl?” ask, “What do I want to feel when I get dressed?” Is it ease, freedom, or confidence? That’s your starting point.

Maybe you love neutrals because they give you peace. Maybe your closet is full of wide-leg pants because they make you feel powerful. Maybe you wear the same gold studs every day because they’re your go-to. That’s fashion. That’s your style.

Embracing your personal style means giving yourself the grace to not always be “on trend.” It means wearing what suits your life, your mood, and your energy. It means letting go of fashion girl expectations and choosing authenticity instead.

In the End, Fashion is a Personal Language

We speak fashion in different dialects. Some loud, some soft. Some poetic, others practical. You don’t need a label, a brand, or a following to be a fashion girl. All you need is a sense of self, the courage to wear what feels like home, and the confidence to say, I don’t follow trends, I follow what makes me feel good.

Because at the end of the day, your style doesn’t need to fit in to stand out.

Photo: Instagram/@monroesteele